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Sarah Rossmiller LPC

Breaking Free: 11 Empowering Steps to Overcome Codependency in Your Relationship

Updated: Jun 13

Looking for some strategies to help you break free from codependency? Reducing codependent patterns in a relationship requires self-awareness, a commitment to change, and often professional support. Here are some specific steps to overcome codependency:


  1. Develop Self-Awareness: Acknowledge and accept that codependency is an issue in the relationship. Reflect on your behaviors, feelings, and motivations. Understanding why you act in a codependent manner is the first step toward change.

  2. Set Healthy Boundaries: Learn to say "no" without feeling guilty. Establish clear and healthy boundaries about what is acceptable behavior. Communicate your needs and boundaries to your partner calmly and assertively.

  3. Focus on Self-Care: Prioritize your own physical, emotional, and mental well-being. Make time for activities that you enjoy and that nourish you. Ensure you are getting enough sleep, eating well, exercising, and engaging in hobbies that make you happy.

  4. Build Self-Esteem: Work on building your self-esteem and sense of self-worth independently of your partner’s validation. Engage in positive self-talk and affirmations. Recognize and celebrate your strengths and accomplishments.

  5. Seek Professional Help: Consider individual therapy to explore underlying issues that contribute to codependency, such as past trauma or low self-esteem. Couples therapy can help both partners understand and address codependent dynamics in the relationship.

  6. Develop Independence: Pursue your own interests, hobbies, and friendships outside of the relationship. This helps build a sense of identity separate from your partner. Encourage and support your partner to do the same.

  7. Improve Communication Skills: Practice open, honest, and assertive communication with your partner. Share your thoughts and feelings without fear of rejection or conflict. Listen actively to your partner and validate their feelings, but also express your own needs and emotions.

  8. Learn to Accept and Let Go: Accept that you cannot control or fix your partner. Focus on what you can control—your own actions and reactions. Let go of the need to rescue or save your partner. Allow them to take responsibility for their own actions and decisions.

  9. Establish Mutual Respect and Support: Work towards a relationship based on mutual respect, where both partners support each other’s growth and well-being. Ensure that both partners have an equal say in decision-making and that both of your needs are considered and respected.

  10. Educate Yourself: Read books, attend workshops, or join support groups focused on codependency. Understanding more about the issue can provide valuable insights and coping strategies.

  11. Practice Patience and Persistence: Breaking codependent patterns takes time and effort. Be patient with yourself and your partner as you both work towards healthier relationship dynamics.

Celebrate small victories and progress along the way, even if setbacks occur. By implementing these strategies, individuals in a codependent relationship can begin to establish healthier patterns, leading to a more balanced and fulfilling partnership.


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